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Friday 24 December 2010

On The 24th Day Of PlinXmas!

Holy Crap, it's Christmas Eve! Yup, the night before Santa comes is also the last day of the PlinXmas advent calendar. If this were a pantomime, now would be a perfect time for you all to go 'Awwwwww' melodramatically. However, if this was a panto, we'd have been shut down on opening night for reasons of quality.

Anyway, I've enjoyed doing this and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading it. If anyone here has been through the whole 24 days, I am officially impressed.

So, it being Christmas Eve, I assume you've all bought all the presents and wrapped them, yeah? I don't imagine Plinx readers to be the type to wrap up any old tat in a panic a few scant hours before Christmas morning, right?

Well if you DO find yourself casting about for an emergency present, you could do worse than this:



Obviously this requires you to get hold of an extremely docile cat but hey, I can't do EVERYTHING for you. Jeez.

Ok, so that's it from me for a few days. I'm going to enjoy time with my family, unwrapping presents and eating & drinking far too much. I suggest you do the same, with your own families, natch.

Oh, one more thing, can we have a big hand for housemate James as he has been the one posting this for me. I have found myself in a house devoid of internets, and if it wasn't for James submitting this for me, Christmas would surely be ruined.

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitus!

Wednesday 22 December 2010

On The 22nd Day Of PlinXmas!

HOORAY! I finish work for Christmas today. In about an hour, in fact. Not back until the new year either. A most satisfying feeling.

If you're still at work, or are stressed about all the Christmas preparations you have still to do, or even if you just want something to watch while you kick back and relax, I have just the thing for you.



It's the new video in the Simon's Cat series, which everyone and their Grandmother has heard of. They've done Winter related ones before, like when the cat encountered snow for the first time:



But this year there is a proper Christmas themed effort. Check it out. 'Santa Claws':



Meow!

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

Lost!

Tuesday 21 December 2010

On The 21st Day Of PlinXmas!

So, it's the shortest day of the year. It's already completely dark outside but at least we can rely on it getting brighter from now on.



Today, you should spend some time watching the Christmas special of Edd Egg, which is an excellent webtoon by my pal Edd. Also, the end credits music is by my other pal/dangerous lunatic 'Baldmonkey'

It's called Mistletoe and Mine and could be referred to as 'loosely topical'.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?

Because snow man is an island!

Monday 20 December 2010

On The 20th day Of PlinXmas!

Hey! So we're into the twenties. Christmas is officially right around the corner!

As such, things have been getting properly festive in the Plinx household. A couple of nights ago, we watched Nightmare Before Christmas which is the best example of adding a sinister spin to the holiday season.



So with that in mind, maybe you'd like to play Poltergifts, a game where you use a variety of weapons to stop marauding, demonic, possesed toys. Lovely stuff.

Why don't penguins fly?

Because they're too short to be pilots!

Sunday 19 December 2010

On The 19th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hey, I'll have to make this quick as we are currently having a barbecue! Yeah, housemate James chiselled it out of the ice block it was in and fired it up. If I stay here too long, I might miss the burgers.

Anyway, do you remember back on day 5 when I said that Santa has 31 hours to deliver all the presents?



Well that wasn't just some made up number, that is the actual number of hours he would have, assuming he flew East to West, due to the rotation of the Earth and the different time zones.

That's just one of the conclusions drawn from this article called:

Is There A Santa Claus? - A Physicist View.

It's an interesting read, check it out.

Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?

So he can Hoe-Hoe-Hoe!

Saturday 18 December 2010

On The 18th Day Of PlinXmas!

Y'know what? Today there will be no explanation, because I don't think this needs one:



See you tomorrow!

What does Tarzan sing at Christmas time?

Jungle Bells!

Friday 17 December 2010

On The 17th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hey, remember the dancing robots from day 7? If you thought that was going to be the only Christmas/Robot hybrid post, you have another thing coming, my friend.

BEEP. BOOP. ROBOT SANTA.



SantaBot was present at the 2010 NYC SantaCon (yup, it's a real thing) and you read about/watch his exploits in this article Here!

BEEP. BOOP. SEE YOU TOMORROW PUNY HUMANS.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO 'L'!

Thursday 16 December 2010

On The 16th Day Of PlinXmas!

Evening all. So I hear there's more snow on the way. I'm kind of on board with that since I have a child-like love of snow but with so many people tavelling at this time of year, it'd suck to get stranded. Unless you're These People



Anyway, on an unrelated topic, how 'bout those Christmas lights, huh? I wonder what the spike in electricity use is over the Christmas period. In these eco-conscious times, maybe it is time to investigate alternatives. Like, for example... having your tree powered by an electric eel?!



Might be a while before you start seeing them in the corner of your living room though.

What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

Wednesday 15 December 2010

On The 15th Day Of PlinXmas!

Dang, today's PlinXmas post nearly didn't exist. In fact, it looked for a while there like my whole blog had been deleted. When I saw the message from blogger about it, it scared me half to death!



Thankfully, all has been restored now. Seems there had been some suspicious activity on my account.

ANYWAY. In other surprising news, today I am pleased to announce that there has been a new Homestar Runner toon after what many thought to be a terminal hiatus. You can watch it here: A Decemberween Mackerel! I'll be honest, if this is your first taste of H*R, you'll probably not appreciate it that much.

So for you losers people, here's a game! It's called Factory Balls: Christmas Edition and it's... err, the Christmas Edition of the game Factory Balls. I don't know what else to tell you. You use the various tools and paint pots to create tree ornaments that look like the one in the top right corner. The best way to pick it up is to just play around with it, so go do that!

Anyway, that's it for today. Barring any further catastrophies, I'll be back tomorrow. Goodnight.

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

He looks at his calenDEER!

Tuesday 14 December 2010

On The 14th Day Of PlinXmas!

Right, after yesterday's not-very-festive offerings, I feel I should inject a bit more holiday cheer into the advent calendar today.



That there is a flare-wielding santa, wakeboarding across a lake in Germany and it is part of an excellent collection of photos showing how different parts of the world are kicking off their festivities.

From fireworks in Rio de Janeiro:



To the ski-slopes of Maine:



Everyone is getting into the spirit of the season. Check out the rest of the photoset Here.

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrots?

Monday 13 December 2010

On The 13th Day Of PlinXmas!

Yeah, ok. You got me. I missed yesterday. It just totally slipped my mind. I suddenly realised at a few minutes to midnight while I was in bed that I hadn't done the advent calendar and I am nowhere near a dedicated enough blogger to get up and post something in a hurry.



HOWEVER, you are about to forgive me, or at least forget that I ever transgressed against you. I am about to send you on an emotional rollercoaster, you see.

First, watch this video and feel your heart leap up into your mouth, as you see a procession of tiny, fluffy, baby ducks come face to face with a most fearsome predator... the WIND!



There isn't a word to describe what you're feeling right now. It's simultaneously sad AND awesome. As with most situations though... T-Rex Has Your Back.

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

While you're still reeling from that, prepare to have your feelings get the equivalent of a vicious nipple tweak in the form of a pixelly flash game.

It's called As I Lay Dying, and it starts with the death of the protagonist's spouse. You decide you can't very well leave his corpse to be pecked to bits by the crows so you pick him up and begin your journey back home.

Along the way, you will have to use the decomposing remains of your beloved to solve puzzles, activating switches and the like. All the while, you'll be fending off the aforementioned crows. Anyway, it's grim and hilarious all at the same time. If pressed, I imagine that T-Rex would label it 'grimlarious'.

Anyway, I hope I am absolved and that you haven't had the Christmas spirit violently shaken out of you. Either way, see you tomorrow!

How many chimneys does Santa go down?

Stacks!

Saturday 11 December 2010

On The 11th Day Of PlinXmas!

Evening! I don't have long as tonight Housemate James is doing a big Christmas meal. It's all Swedish food and drink. He's not Swedish, I'm not Swedish, No-one who is coming is Swedish, but hey who said these things have to make sense? Skål!



Anyway, here's a game. You play a supposedly rehabilitated lunatic who becomes a department store Santa, then goes on a rampage on top of a mountain with a big hammer.

Don't worry, it's less nasty than it sounds. It's all very cartoony and the central game mechanic is to make a big rock bounce down a mountainside causing damage as it goes. FUN!

So. Mountain... Check. Maniac... Check. It must be Mountain Maniac Xmas.

Who looks after Father Christmas when he's ill?

The National Elf Service!

Friday 10 December 2010

On The 10th Day Of PlinXmas!

Double figures now! Exciting. In 2 weeks, it will be Christmas Eve. In 3 weeks it will be the end of the world year as we know it. Where does the time go, lawks a mercy, etc.




Anyway! Here's a video. It chronicles how little it takes to confuse a human being after a snowfall. Just carve them out an erratic path and they'll follow it no matter what.



Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head!

Thursday 9 December 2010

On The 9th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hey there.
Got something pretty amazing for you today behind door #9. It's a list of the top ten weirdest new species discovered this year as compiled by National Geographic. It's eye-opening stuff and it features this little fella:



I may have added the Santa hat in post production. So sue me.

Anyway, also featured are the likes of the Ninja Slug, the Yoda Bat and my personal favourite... The T-REX LEECH!

You can check out the whole top ten Here.

Kooky!

What do you get when you cross a Snowman with a Vampire?

Frostbite!

Wednesday 8 December 2010

On The 8th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hello again! You look like you've had a long day, perhaps you'd like something to help you unwind?

Do you know what the best cure for fatigue is? That's right... Penguins!



Daww. I'll tell you what though, just looking at a pair of penguins in adorable jumpers is all well and good, but if you want the strong stuff, you should try playing a game with a jaunty soundtrack where you help a sleepwalking cartoon penguin in a nightcap find his way home past various arctic obstacles, mischievous creatures and icecream-loving aliens. It's true, look it up. That's the best cure.

It just so happens I have such a game up my sleeve, and seeing as it's you, I'll let you have it for the low, low price of one click.

Sleep Walk.

Honestly, I'm too good to you.

What do penguins sing at birthday parties?

Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!

Tuesday 7 December 2010

On The 7th Day Of PlinXmas!

Evening. It's a bit bloody cold out there, isn't it?



What we all need from today's plink is something to make us feel all warm inside. So here's a video of some cold, unfeeling machines dancing a merry jig to a couple of Christmas classics. The choreography for Silent Night is a bit prosaic but make sure you stick around for Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.



I think we can all agree that what both these songs were missing in their original incarnations was the grinding of servo motors!

Why did Santa's little helper go to a psychiatrist?

Because he had low elf-esteem!

Monday 6 December 2010

On The 6th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hello again, my festive chums. It's time for another dose of internet wonderment.

Today's helping concerns one of the cornerstones of the Christmas period... Booze!



One of the best seasonal drinks has to be whisky. You can complain as much as you like, but it is true. Sitting with your feet up in front of the fire, glass in hand. Lovely. However, it seems it may have an even greater purpose. According to This News Story, whisky may have a part to play in saving the world!

So, naysayers... Bottoms Up, your planet may depend on it.

Which variety of Pine has the sharpest needles?

A Porcupine!

Sunday 5 December 2010

On The 5th Day Of PlinXmas!

Afternoon. So by this time, you must have started to think about presents. What you want, what you're buying others and of course, what you hope Santa will bring.



But have you ever spared a thought for what the poor old duffer goes through to get those gifts to you? Even if he took the optimum flight path, he has a maximum of 31 hours to deliver all the presents. So he must be sprinting along at a hell of a pace, cramming presents down chimneys, leaping over obstacles, dodging low hanging icebergs. Wait, what?

Ah yes, that's how things are in the game I have for you behind door #5! Control the portly present-packer as he jumps, slides and dunks in BlitzKringle! Word to the wise though, don't play it on easy. It gets boring quickly.

What do you call an eskimo's house without a toilet?

An Ig!

Saturday 4 December 2010

On The 4th Day Of PlinXmas!

Hello! Still having computer problems so I'm browsing the web in safe mode, which is really frustrating.



Unfortunately, this means these posts aren't as fleshed out as I'd like them to be, but hopefully things will pick up soon. Bear with me.

So what is behind door #4?

An absurdly talented, possibly mental artist is what!

His name is David Jablow, and he found a drawing exercise called 'Do It Yourself Doodle' which gave a partially completed drawing to act as a 'jumping off' point.

This is what he started with:



Pretty suggestive but surely you could only create a limited number of things with it?

Well, why not See For Yourself! (warning, contains some nudity)

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

Friday 3 December 2010

On The 3rd Day Of PlinXmas!

Phew, just made it in time. I'm having serious computer issues right now, so today's offering may be a bit sparse. Most advent calendars have the odd underwhelming day though, right?

I'll cut to the chase and present to you, the tastiest nativity scene ever made:



Mmm... Meaty.

See you tomorrow!

What do Santa's Little Helpers learn at school?

The ELFabet!

Thursday 2 December 2010

On The 2nd Day Of PlinXmas!

Hello again, hope you're enjoying the snow if you have any.



Today's lesson is that this year, it doesn't have to be a Christmas-themed link to make it into the advent calendar, but rest assured it DOES have to be great.

Do you happen to remember when I linked to a song called 'Cup Of Brown Joy' by a Professor Elemental? Hit the link there if you need your memory jogged.
Well it turns out he isn't the only purveyor of what has come to be known as 'chap-hop'. No, a new challenger has appeared. Enter... Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer:



Obviously, as with all walks of thug life, this can only be solved in one way. Rap battle! Here is Prof. Elemental's shot across the bow. He put on his Fighting Trousers! It can only escalate from here:



What do you call a cow in the snow?

An EskiMOO!

Wednesday 1 December 2010

On the 1st Day of PlinXmas!

Hey, so... Um, remember how I used to write this blog sometimes? Then remember how I didn't write it for about 6 weeks?
Yeah, I'm not sure how that happened, but it got harder and harder to write a new post because I felt like I'd need to explain why I had been away for so long and there isn't really a reason.
So I am coming back now, with a bang! I am resurrecting, not only the blog, but the PlinXmas Advent Calendar!



So yeah, after 6 weeks without a single update, I am going to furnish you with something fun to look at/listen to/play with/smell EVERY DAY from now until Christmas Eve.

Hopefully that'll coax you all back. Here goes:

In what must be one of the smartest opening gambits on record, I am going to use the first day of this online advent calendar to direct you to a different, much better online advent calendar! Truly, mine is the greatest strategic mind of all.

Anyway, this advent calendar is different. Each day is a small segment of a charming platform game starring a snowman called Chubby, and when you complete each 'level', you get free content from an assortment of indie games! Today for example, I got some wallpapers and avatars from a game called Chick, Chick, Boom. Sweet!

Play Mission In Snowdriftland!

Anyway, I'm back. Let me entertain you throughout the festive period.

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?

ELKa Seltzer!

Friday 15 October 2010

Save The Clock Tower.

Hello, I will be back with a proper post soon, but for now please just watch this video of an amazing projection onto the wall of a famous clock tower in Prague.

Why? Because it is incredible.

The 600 Years from the macula on Vimeo.



Yeah. I know, right?

Anyway, be back soon. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Sunday 26 September 2010

Running Joke.

Hmm, it's been a while, eh?
*sweeps blogwebs off*
Right, yes. Hello!

I'm pretty much just here to spam my sponsorship page. Like last year!
However, this time I am doing 2 runs so you should definitely sponsor me.

As before, they're for Help The Hospices. Please dig deep and I promise to run myself ragged.

Donate here: http://www.justgiving.com/tworunsholyheck

Ta.

Wednesday 8 September 2010

Shocking.

Hello. Another mini-update today. Our Internet returns tomorrow but that's the day I'm going to End Of The Road festival so this will be the last one until next week.

I went to see a band last night. I knew of them by reputation and was expecting something a bit unhinged, but they were even more batshit mental than I expected.

They're called Electric Eel Shock and are a 3-piece garage metal band from Japan.

This is what they're like live:



It's great fun and I urge you to try and catch them while they're on tour. Dates and other lunacy can be found on their Myspace Page.

This post is sponsored by my chronic tinnitus.

Sunday 5 September 2010

Plinx Quickie.

Yes, another one. I should have internet back by Thursday and normal service will be resumed but until then I am going to chuck the odd curio at you from wherever I can get online.

This is one that I just found on twitter. More specifically I found it because my good friend Aardvark put it there. Now I am sharing it with you. Internet in action, right here.

Anyway, here we go. It's a comparison chart which comprehensively proves why Optimus Prime is better than Jesus.

I would also have added that 'Transform and Roll Out' is a much better catchphrase than 'The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart' which is frightfully clunky and doesn't stick in the mind half as well.

Case closed.

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Plinx Quickie.

Hello, I am currently devoid of internet at home so I can't write a proper blog post. However, I do have something which will render you unable to every look at a duck in the same way again.

Fairly warned be ye.

The Ultimate Secret Of The Humble Duck.

Monday 23 August 2010

Science!

So the world is a pretty confusing place, right? That's why we invented Science! But soon, there was so much Science! around that people got pretty confused and started believing all kinds of stuff. I mean seriously... homeopathy? Come on now.

Anyway, thankfully some stalwart individuals have dedicated themselves to sifting through all the wayward Science! and drip-feeding us the essentials in handy blog format. That blog is... Fake Science and you can find such gems there as:

How Solar Power works!


How to stay cool!


and How to tell if you are Radioactive!


But the best and brightest evidence why these guys are worth your time is because they endorse this very blog. The one you're reading right now!

Now, as any proponent of Science! knows, you need proof if you're going to make claims. So here it is (click to enlarge):



Oh yeah, I've hit the big time.

So read up and tame the wild beast that is Science!.. today.

Thursday 5 August 2010

Latitude Festival 2010.

Hey!
So, that first line of the last post has been hanging there for too long now. Relentlessly prodding me in the ribs saying "I thought you were going to write about Latitude, you big, hairy, internet liar". It's super annoying because he has this really sneery unpleasant voice and bony fingers.

So I said ENOUGH!

Latitude Festival 2010 - A retrospective.



Yeah, it was great. It always is, of course. It's just a top-quality festival. If you've never been, you should go at your earliest convenience. This year was my 4th time in a row. As I said in my End Of The Road post last year, it may be due to me getting old, but I really appreciate a smaller, more relaxed festival with a greater variety of things to do. Seriously, while walking around, in addiction to the requisite bands you'd expect (more on them in a minute) I also saw multicoloured sheep, a travelling insect circus, ballerinas dancing on water, comedians being upstaged by a 10 year old in the front row, a short film about a talking dog and a bunch of weirdos dressed as various animals.



Ah yes, that was us. Yeah, someone had the idea of everybody bringing an animal costume. Now, thanks to my good friend Charlotte of Dinohoodie.com, I was already well equipped to be a bear. However we also had an Elephant, a Lion and a Tiger, a Wolf and oh yes... another BEAR! At first this surplus of bears lead to Strife but soon after we Joined Forces to better terrorise our fellow festival goers.

But enough animal tomfoolery, what of the bands?! Well, I'm glad you asked.

Amongst the ranks were the ones I knew I would enjoy: The National, Jim Jones Revue, The Kissaway Trail, Belle And Sebastian, Black Mountain. Then there were the ones I wanted to check out: The Horrors, Wild Beasts, Yeasayer, Richard Hawley, The Antlers. Lastly there were the ones I'd never heard of who turned out to be amazing: Grizzly Bear, Jónsi, Race Horses, John Grant.

Oh yeah, and then there was Tom Jones (or ToJo as all the cool kids call him):



Yeah.

So, I don't know how many of those videos you watched but I hope it was all of them because they're all fantastic. That was my weekend. It was amazing. Which is even more incredible since it started so badly on the first night. First, I got chocolate sauce dripped on my head, which made my hair all sticky. This made me sad. Observe:



Then, perhaps more alarmingly than my hair being soiled, I lost my wallet with all my cash for the weekend in it. Gutted doesn't even come close. But it is testament to Latitude that I still had such a great time and hey, I got my wallet back at the end of the festival. All the money was gone but at least I got my 51p coin and my finnish trivial pursuit card back! Oh and my credit cards and driver's license.

Oh, one last thing. I met someone who reads this blog who isn't doing so because I nag them! I have spread to the friends of friends layer. My meteoric rise to fame begins!

Anyway, that is my review of Latitude 2010. I strongly recommend you check it out for yourself next year.

This post is brought to you by boxed red wine. Lovely, lovely wine.



All the pics in this post were taken by Kat (elephant costume), by the by. Team Latitude '10 comprised her, Andy, Chris, Chris, Kelly, Steve and Me!

Wednesday 21 July 2010

Circuit Boards.

Evening.

Latitude was a blast. I will give you the full scoop once there are some pictures I can sprinkle through the post.

For now though, here's a video called Gnarcade. It's a music video which doubles as a skateboarder/snowboarder showcase. More importantly, it uses iconic imagery from some classic videogames and the editing is pretty amazing. Not a lot else I can say about it, really. Just watch it yourself.

Tuesday 13 July 2010

Too Little, Too Late?

Um, hey. I know I haven't been around much lately but I've been busy, y'know. Lot of irons in fires and balls in the air. I can change though. Honest I can. Hopefully before people start calling for balls in fires.

So consider this a peace offering. I'm showering you with games. Like an absent uncle finally remembering your birthday. Here's hoping you haven't given up on me already.

First, it's Pipol Smasher, and what it lacks in spelling, it makes up for in smashy, burny fun. The tagline is 'The Time Of Cars Has Come. All Humans Will Be Eliminated!' and the game boils down to a series of levels where you control some sentient cars in their efforts to take out all the 'Pipol' in each stage by running them over, knocking them off the stage, dropping heavy things on them or burning them. Fun times!

Hokay, next is more of a brief distraction than a fully fledged game but it is so compelling that I have to feature it. It's a neon hued point & click where you try and get your rabbit from one screen to the next. Play it here: Easy Joe.

Another physics game now. This one a sequel to the previously plinked Crush The Castle. Imaginatively titled Crush The Castle 2, this is a sequel that improves on its predecessor in every way. More castles, more projectiles, more *ahem* story. More more more, how do you like it?

Moving on, here's another innovative platform game from the brainiacs at Nitrome. This one's unique selling point is... folding. Yup, you fold the level to get to your objective. It's a lot more impressive when you see it in action. Check it out: Fault Line.

Lastly, for those of you that just aren't into murderous cars, neon rabbits, trebuchets or space-warping munchkins and would prefer a game about a sushi-chomping globular cat... well, you're in luck. Here's Sushi Cat: The Honeymoon. It's a sequel to the first Sushi Cat game which apparently I did not plink. It's a bit like pachinko, assuming you know what pachinko is like. You drop your chubby feline pal into the top of the level and hope he bounces in such a way as to gather enough sushi to progress. there's actually a pretty cute story to go with both games. give them a try.

And that's it!

I'm off to Latitude festival tomorrow so I'll catch up with you again when I get back. Bye!

Monday 28 June 2010

Review - The Karate Kid.



Hi there.
This here is my first film review. Some folks were kind enough to send me to a premiere of the new reboot of The Karate Kid so I am going to stick my two cents about it on here for you to read. Incidentally, instead of furnishing you with the actor names for all characters mentioned, check them out yourself on the film's IMDb page.

So... yeah. It's pretty good! To be honest, I have never seen the original, but I'm familiar enough with the legacy it has to know the storyline and some of the iconic moments. One of these (the using chopsticks to catch a fly scene) is mined for a great visual gag early in the film. The storyline loosely follows that of the original with some key differences. Daniel-san has become Xiao Dre, this film is set in China rather than LA, the age of the 'kid' and his rivals is several years younger (resulting in some surprisingly shocking child-on-child violence) and most importantly, in a move that has caused much wailing and gnashing of teeth on forums across the internet, the film isn't about Karate, but Kung Fu. To be fair, this is acknowledged in the film, and the title remains out of a sense of nostalgia and to illustrate the fact that most people don't know the difference, including Dre's mother.

I wasn't too sure about Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith (the producers of this movie) to start with, but without noticing, I warmed to him. He's not one of the truly great child actors, but he did enough to make me believe he wasn't only chosen due to nepotism. All the other performers did a solid job. Jackie Chan is forever reliable, here playing Mr Han, the Miyagi-equilvalent ass-kicking handyman who saves Dre from the bullies he manages to enrage by talking to pretty fellow student Mei Ying, resulting in a stand-out sequence where Mr Han takes on 6 children in spectacular fashion. He then goes on to coach Dre to the point where he is able to enter a Kung Fu tournament, the two of them inevitably bonding along the way. As with the original, Dre is taught the fundamentals of the martial art using a series of seemingly-mundane actions (picking up a dropped jacket and hanging it on a peg) and then an obligatory training montage. This pulls out enough new ideas though to stay fresh. Chan's comic timing is as precise as his movements and Smith seems to have inherited his father's skill in goofy charm.

One strength this reboot has is the fact that due to the film being set in China, many characters use faltering English, which leads to some incredible economy of language. One such moment is the upsettingly bleak farewell given to Dre from Mei Ying when she is told by her father not to consort with him anymore. This, despite the faintly silly plot, gives the film an air of authenticity that only rarely spills over into sickly sentiment.

Obviously, the film culminates with the tournament and enough about the film is different to ensure you won't know whether the script will follow the original to the letter or not. I'm not going to spoil it here, obviously.

Anyway, I'd recommend seeing this. It won't change your life, but it might make your day.

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Pew Pew Pew!

Hello.
I'm not sure where you stand on graffiti. I think that it can either be a wonderful art form or senseless vandalism for the sake of letting people know that 'gary woz ere'.
One of the main arguments against it is the 'defacement of property' angle and yeah, that's fair enough. You might not like a sprawling mural depicting anti-capitalism if it was sprayed on the side of your bungalow. However, this is not a criticism that can be levelled at 'light graffiti'. However, the capacity to make impressive works of art is still there. It's by no means a new idea. People have been doing it for a while. It was the basis of a pretty sweet Music Video back in 2003, for example. But people are still finding new ways to dazzle us with its possibilities.

Case in point, the work of Freddie Wong who has used the technique to make this short film: Light Warfare. As you can probably tell from the screenshot below, it's pretty spectacular.



Watch to the end for a link to a 'behind the scenes' video as well. Sweet!

Friday 11 June 2010

Planet Plate.

Afternoon. In honour of the official start of the World Cup, have a football themed phuzzle game. It's called Soccer Balls and the link to real football is nice 'n' tenuous.

Basically, kick the football at the ref. Pass it between team-mates where neccessary. It's good fun and won't tax the grey matter too much but it is oddly compelling. Mainly because the refs get so angry that their heads pop off and bounce about. Anyway, enjoy!

Soccer Balls.

Tuesday 8 June 2010

It's All Happening Now.

Hello, remember a while ago when I plinked about Thomas Truax's Album Launch Campaign? Well it worked! The album has been released and I have the warm glow of satisfaction that comes with making a tangible difference, albeit a small one. It's really good by the way, I advise you to get hold of it if you haven't already.

Anyway, now it's time for phase two. Here's the plan as laid out by the man himself:

"We're going to upload 'It's All Happening Now' to Youtube on TUESDAY,and we're hoping you'll watch it! We're also going to try and get all our friends, supporters, dogs, kittens, goldfish and, of course, zombies to go on youtube to watch it and comment on it and try to boost it into a 'most viewed' category on that day. With a little luck and some concentrated effort, we hope it will take flight and find a larger audience. Aside from my own selfish agenda, Keith and all the talented people he brought in for the project really deserve to get noticed. Loads of time and energy went into making this little film, and it was all done for love...(and, of course, BRAIIINNNNS!!!)"

If you're wondering about the 'brains' comment, it relates to the presence of zombies in the video. A while back, when it was being made there was an open casting call for people to be in the video dressed as a zombie and as much as I'd like to tell you I was there, I wasn't able to make it.

However, it's still a truly excellent video for a truly excellent song. Check it out, click on 'like', help me to help him. Again!



Thank you.

Sunday 6 June 2010

Caught By The Fuzz.

If you're reading this blog, you almost certainly know me. If you know me, then presumably you know that I am pretty great and that you could stand to be more like me. It just makes sense.

But how?

Well, here's a good start. Beard Beanies. Yup, it's a beanie, with a beard attached. Check it out:



That guy is automatically rendered 400% cooler and more attractive. Be like him by being like me.

Beard Beanies!

Wednesday 26 May 2010

You'd Batter Believe It.

Evening. How are we all? Splendid.

Got a photoblog effort for you today. It's called Jim's Pancakes and it's about a dude called Jim who makes pancakes. However, in a similar vein to the previously-plinked Tiny Art Director (well worth checking in on again if you haven't seen it in a while), things are improved by the inclusion of a demanding little girl calling the shots.

When it comes to pancakes, I'm happy enough if I can make one that comes out round, but that's not good enough for Jim, or more specifically, Jim's daughter Allie. She'd rather have a Plane:

zoooooom!

or a Cheeseburger:

om nom nom!

or a... Ferris Wheel?

just... wow

Yeah, he's a talented guy. Read the rest of the Jim's Pancakes blog to see Sushi, a Crane, a Necklace and many more.

Thursday 20 May 2010

Save The Beeb.

Simple one, this. There are currently some cuts of BBC services being proposed, including some neutering of the website and the abandonment of BBC 6music.

Protests have been underway for a while but this seems to be the final push, so if you have a minute and care about the issue (which you really should), please sign the Petition.

Thanks.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

LittleBigPlanet 2.

The title should tell you everything you need to know. If you were reading my blog back in October of 2008, firstly thanks for sticking around. Secondly, you may remember me getting overly excited about the release of LittleBigPlanet!

Well, guess what. The sequel has been announced, and it looks fantastic of course. An evolution of the first game in every way. No longer 'just' a platform game, the strapline for this one is "a platform for games." My head is already spinning with the possibilities. I'm ready to get excited all over again.

Who's with me?

LittleBigPlanet 2.

Friday 7 May 2010

Plumbing New Depths.

Hiya. I am currently too ill to go out so I'm going to stay in and furnish you sickeningly healthy types with some games.

Who is the most famous video game character ever? That's right, it is This Guy.

In polls he has proven to be more recognisable than Mickey Mouse. As a result, he appears everywhere and as well as appearing in over 200 official video games over the last 30 years, he has been the subject of more fan made games than it is possible to keep track of. Todays plinx brings you two of the latest, greatest examples.

Firstly, we have Super Mario Crossover. This one takes the entirety of the original Super Mario Bros and allows you to play through the game as either Mario or one of several other classic videogame stars. I'm going to run through them now, the further you get through this list and still know what I'm talking about, the nerdier you are. Ready?
Link. Mega Man. Samus Aran. Simon Belmont. Bill Rizer.
If any of that rang any bells, you should give this game a go. It's making a mockery of my childhood memories in the best possible way!

Secondly, a much more abstract offering. This is actually a brain-twisting puzzler disguised as a platform game. It's called Enough Plumbers and to beat each level, you just have to direct a plumber to the exit. However, things are complicated by the fact that every time you collect a coin, a clone of yourself appears. As the difficulty ramps up, you have to use and abuse this power in ever more complicated ways. It's difficult to describe but not difficult to enjoy. So play it!

Alright, I'm going back to feeling sorry for myself. Bye.

Tuesday 4 May 2010

Full Moon Over Wowtown.

Hey there.
I know you're accustomed to me just heaping free entertainment in your laps every couple of days but today is different. Like with the Indie Love Bundle, today's episode of plinx calls on you to dig deep in those pockets. As always, however, I don't do this without good reason. Today is no exception.

Thomas Truax is a man who deserves to be on your radar. He is a songwriter, a performer and an inventor and he puts on a heck of a live show involving instruments that he has designed and built himself. His music sounds like nothing else and he is starting to see some success. It's impossible to capture the spirit of a live show in any useful form but there are some tracks on His Myspace and you can watch a video of Thomas introducing his 'band' of fantastical instruments right here:



Now, he has a new album that, to quote the man himself "sits smoking on the pad, ready for launch, yet sadly just short of the fuel it needs for a proper lift-off" and is asking for help from the music community. If you have any interest at all in the man or his music, you can take part in a program called 'pledgemusic' which allows fans to directly influence the release of the music they love, enabling them to be a part of the process and in this case, get rewarded for it!

Y'see, all you have to do is 'pledge' to buy the album (for 8 measly pounds!) and, should it get enough supporters to reach the amount required, you get the album. However, if you wish to help even more, you can pay slightly (or not so slightly, depending on your inclination) more and get a 'reward'. Anything from a signed limited edition poster, to a private gig in your house!

Anyway, I think this is a great idea and am very much looking forward to receiving my album and poster, as well as the feeling that I have played a part in the release of something amazing. If you want in, have a look at the pledge site Here.

Monday 26 April 2010

Pixellent.

Evening.
I have a video for you. It's footage of New York City as it is beset by a plague of pixels! Taking the form of classic retro videogame sprites, they lay waste to the city. This video is amazing and well worth a watch even if you aren't a total geek. But if you are, then you get the added bonus of spotting all the references to different games and their makers.

Anyway, enjoy!


PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Discover more animation and arts videos.

The embedded video is a little small. If you'd prefer to see it in glorious big screen, click the link.

Friday 23 April 2010

You'll Like This. Not Alot, But You'll Like It.

This tickled me. Partly because I am a spelling and grammar pedant, but mostly because it's funny!

It's an article containing advice on how to cope with the piss-poor writing standards of 90% of the people online, and it stars this li'l critter:



Give It A Read.

Haha, having read a bit more of the blog this is from, I have found some other great stuff. Check out 7 Games To Play With A Brick and A Thesis On The Tyranny Of Sandwiches.

Monday 19 April 2010

Skol!

I don't like to resort to cliches but...

*ahem*

If you only click on one link this year. Make sure it's this one.

Turns out I'm pretty Big In Sweden!

Friday 9 April 2010

Care Package.

Evening. I'm on holiday! Woo! For the next week I shall be camping in (hopefully) sunny Devon. As such, I will not be here providing you with internet entertainment.

But panic not! I will use this post to stockpile some games that should keep you going until my triumphant return.

First, the new Nitrome effort: Tiny Castle. As usual, it has a familiar gameplay mechanic with a quirky twist. In this instance, it is a platform jumpin', princess rescuin', fireball dodgin' platformer that all takes place in the same space. things are kept interesting, however, due to the constantly changing nature of the level. Platforms are destroyed and rebuilt, irate wizards pull the odd switcheroo, the lights go out and... well, expect the unexpected. It's not a long game but it should keep you interested until the boss battle. So go, swing your sword and battle the monsters.

Something a bit different now. This one is a text adventure. For the non-geeks, that means a sort of choose-your-own-adventure, like the books, but without the need to flip through the pages every time you make a choice. This one is about being a captain in the navy and is WAY more compelling than I just made it sound. Give it a shot, as it were. It's called Choice Of Broadsides.

Aaaand, what list of games on plinx would be complete without a couple of physics puzzlers, or phuzzlers as the experts call them. Me. I'm the experts. First is Mechanics which is NOT about fixing cars, but rather is about placing cogs in the correct positions to get them turning and illuminating the light, or simply stacking them up so that none are lost in the abyss. It's gentle fun.

Continuing on a phuzzle tip, here's the Cover Orange series. That link was to the original. There's also a Sequel and a Player's Pack for all your orange covering needs. In all the games, the idea is to protect your smiley ball(s) from the coming storm of spikey things that threaten their existence. Look, since when have online games had to make sense. Just play them, you'll figure it out.

Right-o. I'm off! Have fun, kids.

Wednesday 7 April 2010

This Too Shall Pass Me By.

Umm. Bit embarrassing, this. There's something I should have plinked ages ago but never got round to. Now it has been plastered all over the place and there's a very good chance you've seen it already. It's an OK Go video. Specifically, one featuring a huge, elaborate Rube Goldberg device. Here it is:



Now, considering my usually propensity to post OK Go videos AND Rube Goldberg videos, to miss out on this one when it seems almost laser-targeted at me is terrible. I'm losing my touch, man. Getting old. Past it.

Except, no. Maybe not. Maybe I can turn this around.

Because, you see, after coming out with the video, they opened a contest for people to make their own. So this IS relevant after all. Hooray! I'm back in the game. Suck it, everyone.

There's an interesting Interactive Floor Plan of the music video one and the site for the competition is Here.

One winner has already been announced. A worthy entry, I feel. Check it out:



Phew, alright. Panic over.

Sunday 4 April 2010

Fools! I'll Destroy Them All.

So yeah, April Fools day was a couple of days ago. I thought about doing something to try and fool you guys but for one thing, I don't think enough people read this blog for anyone to notice on the day and also, I didn't think about it until the morning of the 1st of April so I would only have managed something a bit half arsed.

However! There is a grand tradition of Fools on the web. Every year, certain websites will do something to try and hornswoggle the general populace. I'm going to recap some of this year's good ones in case you missed 'em.

Unfortunately, I can't show you YouTube's 'videos as text' thing because they took it down as soon as AFD was over. Losers.

However, remember XKCD? Well, that looked a little different this year, converting the whole site into a command-line based interface. Check it: UniXKCD!

Sites like Firebox, IWOOT & ThinkGeek have a tendency to release fake products like IWOOT's Universal Bark Translator, their iPhone to iPad convertor, Firebox's Cavalcade of Whimsy, ThinkGeek's Canned Unicorn and (my personal favourite) Screaming Chef Knife!

There are more, a definitive list can be found HERE but those were my favourites!

Tuesday 30 March 2010

It Means 'Cave Explorer'.

I like the word 'spelunker'. It's not exactly in common usage but it crops up sometimes and I usually get to tell this story.

See, a while back, I was watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and the question for £125,000 came up thus:

"What does a 'Spelunker' do?". I don't recall the possible answers but one of them was 'explores caves' and I knew that was it. The reason why I knew this was correct is due to the South Park movie, in which one charaxter is referred to as an 'ass-spelunker' and, well the other options available didn't make sense in that context!

So yeah, South Park knowledge can be worth many thousands of pounds. They should show it in primary schools.

ANYWAY, the reason I bring it up is due to a game called Specter Spelunker Shrinks and (despite being more of a demonstration of a neat concept than a fully fledged game) it features a nifty growing and shrinking character dynamic and some awesome alliteration, also!

So go play it. Although there's a chance you'll need to download something called the 'Unity Web Plug-in' which is totally legit so don't worry!

Friday 26 March 2010

Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, Heart!

Hello.
I'm here on eco-business today. It hasn't been very well advertised but tomorrow night at 8.30pm, it is Earth Hour. If you've not heard of it before, it is a global attempt to get 1 billion people to turn off all their lights at the same time for an hour. Admirable!

They had a decent amount of success Last Year. Naturally, however, they want to beat that this year. So get involved!

They are using a pretty neat method to inspire people to sign up this year. Namely, pitting the different parts of the UK against each other! Nothing wrong with a bit of well-intentioned jingosim, says I. Check it:



Right now, the English are getting their arses handed to them by our neighbours to the north. Clearly this will not stand. Also, my home county of Hampshire is in danger of being overtaken by Wrexham! So yeah, if you're a local boy or girl. Sign up now. We will NOT be overthrown by the Scotch or the Wretches (pretty sure that's what people in Wrexham call themselves, yeah?)

Anyway, it should go without saying that you shouldn't sign up if you don't intend to participate. So take part! Turn out the lights, set up some candles and enjoy the twilight. For the good of the planet. Your powers combined...

Monday 22 March 2010

Citation Needed.

Hey, you're a busy man right? Or a busy woman. I'm not discriminating.

Point is, sometimes you need to know about something (frogs, bananas, helicopters, jazz, batman, electricity, beer) in a hurry. Firing up wikipedia is all well and good, but it's just not quick enough.

You haven't got time for history lessons or uses in popular culture. You just need the essence of your chosen subject.

Step up, 10 Word Wiki.

If it can't be explained in 10 words, you don't need to know about it.

Monday 15 March 2010

Anticlimactastic!

So yeah, I've been putting off doing my 250th post until I had something worthy to show you, but it turns out it'll probably take a while. So I have made a few cosmetic changes and I will continue to do so. You may have noticed the 'pages' up top? Yeah don't click 'em, there's nothing to see. But one day... Oh, one day. You'll see.

So, yeah. That's about it.

Except no, there is a star of this show. Take a gander to the right of this jaunty text. That there is a shoutbox and it was coded for me by my good friend Mat who has said he requires no credit but I think should be shaken warmly by the hand. Essentially, it allows you to leave me a message without any of the tiresome 'comment' malarkey, so I urge you to do so! Enjoyed one of the links? Give me a shout! Want to direct my attention to something? Give me a shout! Want to tell me I have a stupid beard and girly hair? Er, give me a shout, I guess!

Woo!

Hmm, this seems wrong without some sort of link so I'll leave you a video. In case you've ever wondered why the URL for this place is 'kickpunchblock', well check THIS out...

Tuesday 2 March 2010

Yeah, But Is It Art?

Cast your eye over the piece below. It is by a struggling young artist using an emergent technique called 'Bomomo'. It may look like nothing at first but if you really look, you will see the myriad intricacies. It is nothing short of a masterpiece.



Yeah, so it was me that made this monstrosity. It took about 2 minutes. I call it 'Fiddling With All The Buttons In This Cool Piece Of Online Image Creation Software I Just Found Called Bomomo'. Catchy, eh?

Try it yourself, it has surprising depth despite all being controlled using a set of floating balls. I'd like to see what someone with talent could do with it. Consider yourself challenged, dudes and ladies. Wow me.

Bomomo.

Friday 26 February 2010

Plinx Quickie.

I'm not proud of myself here but I can't help giggling at this. I'm supposed to be a grown up for christ's sake.

Look, just click it and see for yourself.


Click!

Wednesday 24 February 2010

Paul Is Games.

Hiya. I'm gonna make this quick because I'm supposed to be studying.

It's been a while since I showed you some games you didn't have to pay for. So today, I'm essentially letting you loose in an arcade with a never ending bag of 20p coins.

It's killing me that there isn't a way to combine 'plinx' and 'arcade' in a satisfactory manner that I could then use to describe posts like this from now until the end of time. Ideas on a postcard, kids.

Down to business. Earlier in the year, I linked you to a game called Blosics. Well now there's a sequel which improves on the original in every way, like a good sequel should but rarely does. There are more ball types, more block types, more of everything basically. So go play Blosics 2.

Onwards and upwards, quite literally. to a fast-paced platform game in the skies! It's called G-Switch and bears some resemblance to the previously plinked Canabalt but with a couple of important differences. It has a neat gravity-switching mechanic AND if you happen to be surrounded by enough people, you can play it in a frankly manic 6 player mode!

Finally, and to round out a trio of 'games that can be linked to other games previously featured in the blog' (now THAT is catchy) here's Mogo-Mogo. From the makers of Little Wheel, and if you remember that game, you should have all the reason you need to play this one. Stylistically fantastic and well thought out. it's a pointy clicky masterclass.

That's your lot. Have fun! I'm off to stick my nose in a book about computers. I think we know who got the better deal here.

Monday 22 February 2010

Representin'.

Evening.
Tonight I am giving mad props to some friends and their projects!

Cast your eyes to the right, you should see an animated .gif. If you click it, you will be directed to a place where someone has managed to combine the wonderful worlds of dinosaurs and warm clothing! That someone is Charlotte, a friend of mine. She makes Dinohoodies. They're exactly what they sound like and that's why you should want one. But don't take my word for it, have a click, look in the Gallery!

Want one? Yeah, me too.

However, you may be one of those people who only buys something after watching a short cartoon that is loosely connected with said product. How do you get by like that? It must make life pretty difficult. Why bother? Weirdo.

ANYWAY, even your ridiculous life choice has been catered for. Because Edd, another friend, has prepared this comic vignette for the dinohoodie cause. So watch it:



Edd also makes lots of other animations, comics, sounds and smells. Check them all out HERE!

Tuesday 16 February 2010

Indie Cred.

Hey.
Today I am setting up my travelling salesman booth again to let you know about an unmissable deal on some award-winning indie-designed games.

It's called the Indie Love Bundle and features 6 games for the low price of $20 (that's £12.80 to you, squire!). Bought seperately, these games would set you back $85. So however you slice it, that's a bargain. Plus, all profit goes to the game designers so you'd be helping to support the fledgling studios of tomorrow.

Included in the list are Machinarium (a full length game from the creators of beautiful point and click free online game Samorost and Its Sequel), And Yet It Moves (a puzzle platform game set in a hand-crafted paper world that won best indie game in an IGF awards ceremony) and Auditorium (an audio-visual feast of a puzzle game which you can play the scaled-down free online version of Here)
Also included are the games Aztaka, Eufloria & Osmos which I'm afraid I can't tell you much about because I had not heard of them until i purchased this bundle.

Anyway, I bought it. You should too. There's a preview video on the official site if you need more convincing. But hurry, this deal runs out on Friday!

The Indie Love Bundle.

Saturday 13 February 2010

Datablast.

How'd you like to learn something? How about many, many things? Reddit recently ran a thread called 'What is the craziest fact you know that most people won't know?'. Not the most elegant question ever constructed but we'll let it go. What followed was a landslide of 'facts', some of which proving to be urban legends. One of them was so compelling that MY GOOD FRIEND (he's replied to at least 3 emails!) Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics fame wrote a Comic about it.

Anyway, it's a bit like every series of QI condensed into a forum thread (with all the nerdy humour and dick-facts that implies) and there's no way you could read even a small section of it without learning something or several somethings. Like I say, not everything in there is factual but in those instances, the internet pedant brigade are on hand to sort things out.

So yeah, read it! HERE.

Oh. Also, if you know where the name of this post comes from, you're a great big geek and you should be ashamed.

Tuesday 9 February 2010

Thwack!

Hi!
Since I started this blog, I'm hoping I have picked up a couple of regular readers at least.
But I'm sure some of you just don't spend enough time online to be able to afford a few minutes to peruse the stuff that I tirelessly winkle out of the overstuffed internet for you. That's fair enough, right?

Well now that I am approaching TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY posts, I have composed something that I hope will convince you to pop in more regularly.
Check it out!



Yeah, that oughta do it.

Made it HERE.

Wednesday 3 February 2010

Having Some Barney.

Well, I can walk again, just about. Hooray! *does a feeble dance*

Anyways, normal service resumes and what could be more normal than linking to a Nitrome physics game. As plinx go, that is a standing order. This one is called Rubble Trouble and it involves knocking down buildings with some slightly suspect 'builder tools'. When the dynamite is the most standard thing on a list, you've got yourself a pretty special list.

So yeah. Detonate, mutilate, aggravate.

Cause some Rubble Trouble.

Sunday 31 January 2010

Injury Bloggers 4 U.

Evening. If you and I are well enough acquainted then you'll already know this, but I recently injured myself playing an extremely rugged and manly sport.

My ankle went and it hurt quite a bit. I assumed it would be fine and went home to bed, thinking it'd be fine after a night of rest. It was not. By the morning, it was badly swollen and I could not walk. So after a trip to the cruelly-named 'walk-in centre' at the hospital, it was determined that I have a grade-one sprain and am now in a cast and on crutches.



Fun times. The cast comes off tomorrow but I have no idea how long I will take to fully heal. In the meantime, I imagine I'll be doing a lot of sitting about.

Anyway, it just goes to show. Sometimes this blog can function as an actual weblog. Oh also, standing on one leg washing your hair in a kitchen sink is NOT. EASY.

Monday 25 January 2010

Self Satisfaction.

Whoops, not sure how I've let it get past a week with no plinx. I'm getting sloppy.

To distract you from my failings, here's a game! It's been around for a while but got passed over for plinking for reasons I no longer remember. Thanks to Andy for reminding me of its existence.

It's called The Company Of Myself and it manages a pretty unusual thing of being both fun and sad. It's a solid puzzle/platform game with a neat 'replay past actions' mechanic. This in itself is nothing new but rarely is it handled with such (and believe me, I know it's a weird thing to say about an online game) emotional intensity. It's a story of loss and loneliness, but as these things so often are, it's compelling. If you're a games geek, you'll appreciate the similarities to Braid.

Anyway, go and play it. Soak in the ambience.

Learn to enjoy The Company Of Myself.

Saturday 16 January 2010

The Dude Abideth.

Every so often. I add something to plinx that would be of interest to, essentially, nobody but me. But hey, it's my blog. It's my perogative.It's my perblogative! Ahem. This is one of those times, gentle reader.

I'm going to come right out and say what the link is, if you read it and your first instinct is 'meh', I'll forgive you. See you next time.

It's an interpretation of the film 'The Big Lebowski' (my favourite film in the whole wide world) as if penned by Shakespeare. Yeah.

It's called 'Two Gentlemen of Lebowski' and it's bloody marvellous. Here's a snippet:

THE KNAVE
Thou err’st; no man calls me Lebowski. Yet thou art man; neither spirit damned nor wandering shadow, thou art solid flesh, man of woman born. Hear rightly, man!—for thou hast got the wrong man. I am the Knave, man; Knave in nature as in name.

BLANCHE
Thy name is Lebowski. Thy wife is Bonnie.

THE KNAVE
Zounds, man. Look at these unworthiest hands; no gaudy gold profanes my little hand. I have no honour to contain the ring. I am a bachelor in a wilderness. Behold this place; are these the towers where one may glimpse Geoffrey, the married man? Is this a court where mistresses of common sense are hid? Not for me to hang my bugle in an invisible baldric, sir; I am loath to take a wife, or she to take me until men be made of some other mettle than earth. Hark, the seat of my commode be arisen!

WOO
Search his satchel! His words are a fantastical banquet to work confusion upon his enemies. There sits eight pounds of proof within; surely he hides his treasure on his person.

BLANCHE
Villainy! Why this confounded orb, such as men use to play at ninepins; what devilry, these holes in holy trinity?

THE KNAVE
Obviously thou art not a golfer.


Hee!

Read the whole shebang Here.

Wednesday 13 January 2010

Plinx Quickie.

While I'm here, I might as well pour a forty on the curb for my missed opportunity. I was planning to go to London tonight to see Ok Go. Sadly, circumstance dictates that I can't be there. So here's their latest video. It's typically overblown in the usual heart-warming way, but for me, it is bittersweet. However, it does feature a stealth woodwind section. Not something I get to say often.

Ok Go - This Too Shall Pass.

Wide Load.

So hey, remember how I keep banging on about making some changes to the layout of the blog to enable me to embed widescreen youtube videos? Well after months of slaving over a hot CSS, I've done it. Don't tell me you didn't notice the difference as soon as you walked in here. Oh yeah, it took a real man to fix this place up...

Alright so all I did is change two numbers. How many numbers have you changed lately? That's what I thought. Those extra 100 pixels in width are going to change my life.

Ok, I need a video to demonstrate this brave new world. Something epic. Something with explosions, maybe. Or slow-motion...

Wait, do I dare to dream of a video that contains BOTH?



BAM, best 100 pixels I ever spent.

Sunday 10 January 2010

Spot The Difference.

Evening. Hope you're all somehow going about your lives despite the treacherous conditions. I fell over yesterday, but don't panic because I managed to contort my body in mid-air to avoid landing in such a way that would break the Kinder Egg in my pocket. A lucky escape, I'm sure you'll agree. I'm expecting a TV news crew at any moment.

ANYWAY, that's not why I've called you here today. I would like to direct your attention to another blog. This one belongs to a friend of a friend and is a genuine danger to your free time. I intended to dip in and read a few entries but now I've read the whole dang thing.

It's called 'London, Differently' and is the chronicled adventures of a girl who realised she was too broke to afford a holiday and decided to spend a year "rummaging through London to try on all kinds of the lives that are lived here." A champion idea, I'm sure you'll agree.

Now it would be all too easy to attempt something like this and only make pedestrian changes, but our author scoffs at that notion. Instead throwing herself whole-heartedly into the breach: Becoming a vampire. Getting covered in various animal poops and, yes... Taking a short break in a nudist camp only to discover it was in fact a sex camp.

Anyway, it's fascinating, inspiring and well-written to the point that it makes me feel bad about my own piss-poor writing skills. Hooray!

Have a squiz, it's London, Differently.