Hairy Man Shows Internet Findings.

Hey there.
A decent movie needs a snappy title, right? Or at least a memorable one. Zack Snyder is much more likely to be remembered for Watchmen, 300 & Sucker Punch than for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, I'd wager. So the title is pretty important.

Now almost all movies get released all over the world and it turns out some of the people in foreign lands don't even speak English? Madness. So the flick gets translated, including the title. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't.

An example:



An excellent film with a no-nonsense title. Not so in China. No. There it's called 'This Hitman Is Not As Cold As He Thought'.

Yeah. Turns out this is pretty common. In Germany; Airplane became The Unbelievable Trip In A Wacky Aeroplane and, incredibly, China never got to experience The Shawshank Redemption, but instead got the stupefying title 'Excitement 1995'!

Want more? Well check out this list of 50 Funny Movie Translations to see how films can be completely undermined by having their title translated. The one for Sixth Sense is incredible.

One of my personal favourites though: 'Leaving Las Vegas' becoming 'I'm Drunk And You're A Prostitute' in Japan. Hyuk hyuk.

Review - The Karate Kid.

Hi there.
This here is my first film review. Some folks were kind enough to send me to a premiere of the new reboot of The Karate Kid so I am going to stick my two cents about it on here for you to read. Incidentally, instead of furnishing you with the actor names for all characters mentioned, check them out yourself on the film's IMDb page.

So... yeah. It's pretty good! To be honest, I have never seen the original, but I'm familiar enough with the legacy it has to know the storyline and some of the iconic moments. One of these (the using chopsticks to catch a fly scene) is mined for a great visual gag early in the film. The storyline loosely follows that of the original with some key differences. Daniel-san has become Xiao Dre, this film is set in China rather than LA, the age of the 'kid' and his rivals is several years younger (resulting in some surprisingly shocking child-on-child violence) and most importantly, in a move that has caused much wailing and gnashing of teeth on forums across the internet, the film isn't about Karate, but Kung Fu. To be fair, this is acknowledged in the film, and the title remains out of a sense of nostalgia and to illustrate the fact that most people don't know the difference, including Dre's mother.

I wasn't too sure about Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith (the producers of this movie) to start with, but without noticing, I warmed to him. He's not one of the truly great child actors, but he did enough to make me believe he wasn't only chosen due to nepotism. All the other performers did a solid job. Jackie Chan is forever reliable, here playing Mr Han, the Miyagi-equilvalent ass-kicking handyman who saves Dre from the bullies he manages to enrage by talking to pretty fellow student Mei Ying, resulting in a stand-out sequence where Mr Han takes on 6 children in spectacular fashion. He then goes on to coach Dre to the point where he is able to enter a Kung Fu tournament, the two of them inevitably bonding along the way. As with the original, Dre is taught the fundamentals of the martial art using a series of seemingly-mundane actions (picking up a dropped jacket and hanging it on a peg) and then an obligatory training montage. This pulls out enough new ideas though to stay fresh. Chan's comic timing is as precise as his movements and Smith seems to have inherited his father's skill in goofy charm.

One strength this reboot has is the fact that due to the film being set in China, many characters use faltering English, which leads to some incredible economy of language. One such moment is the upsettingly bleak farewell given to Dre from Mei Ying when she is told by her father not to consort with him anymore. This, despite the faintly silly plot, gives the film an air of authenticity that only rarely spills over into sickly sentiment.

Obviously, the film culminates with the tournament and enough about the film is different to ensure you won't know whether the script will follow the original to the letter or not. I'm not going to spoil it here, obviously.

Anyway, I'd recommend seeing this. It won't change your life, but it might make your day.

The Dude Abideth.

Every so often. I add something to plinx that would be of interest to, essentially, nobody but me. But hey, it's my blog. It's my perogative.It's my perblogative! Ahem. This is one of those times, gentle reader.

I'm going to come right out and say what the link is, if you read it and your first instinct is 'meh', I'll forgive you. See you next time.

It's an interpretation of the film 'The Big Lebowski' (my favourite film in the whole wide world) as if penned by Shakespeare. Yeah.

It's called 'Two Gentlemen of Lebowski' and it's bloody marvellous. Here's a snippet:

THE KNAVE
Thou err’st; no man calls me Lebowski. Yet thou art man; neither spirit damned nor wandering shadow, thou art solid flesh, man of woman born. Hear rightly, man!—for thou hast got the wrong man. I am the Knave, man; Knave in nature as in name.

BLANCHE
Thy name is Lebowski. Thy wife is Bonnie.

THE KNAVE
Zounds, man. Look at these unworthiest hands; no gaudy gold profanes my little hand. I have no honour to contain the ring. I am a bachelor in a wilderness. Behold this place; are these the towers where one may glimpse Geoffrey, the married man? Is this a court where mistresses of common sense are hid? Not for me to hang my bugle in an invisible baldric, sir; I am loath to take a wife, or she to take me until men be made of some other mettle than earth. Hark, the seat of my commode be arisen!

WOO
Search his satchel! His words are a fantastical banquet to work confusion upon his enemies. There sits eight pounds of proof within; surely he hides his treasure on his person.

BLANCHE
Villainy! Why this confounded orb, such as men use to play at ninepins; what devilry, these holes in holy trinity?

THE KNAVE
Obviously thou art not a golfer.

Hee!

Read the whole shebang Here.

Yeah, But Is It Art?

It was a hot night, the kind that makes the air crackle with electricity. Every second that ticks by loaded with possibilities. The sky hangs heavy with menace. Somebody, somewhere is in trouble.

Ok yeah, I can't write bad-ass noir fiction for toffee. But hey, a lot of writers create good stuff without ever having to go down the pulpy noir route, right? I mean, it's not like EVERYTHING is better if it's brooding and faux-40s.



Ok, so I guess I was wrong. Noir-style posters can really sex up an already impressive story.

Need more proof?

Batman.
Transformers.
Watchmen.
The Punisher.

All via This Guy's DeviantArt page.

Ok, point proven. Guess I'll slip back into the poisonous night. Somehow I suspect our paths will cross again. So long, toots.

Fillums.

Do you know your films? Do you like 'rebus' style puzzles? If you answered either or both of these questions with a resounding 'Yes!' then a) you may be getting over excited and b) I have a link for you!

You may have seen something like this before, it's a large image that contains smaller picture clues that represent the names of films. For example, and a free answer for you here, there's a bolt in the lower right corner of the screen. This represents the film 'Bolt'. Clever, eh? Obviously, some are more devious than that. My current total is 31 out of a possible 50.

Do your best. Cryptic Canvas.

Oh, you'll be asked to put in an email address at the beginning. This is so you can return to the puzzle without losing progress. I think.

I Didn't Mean It, Colin.

Hello, sorry for the radio silence lately. I've been on my travels. Back now though with a link that wasn't even found by me. Terrible slacking, I know. My good friend Andy showed me this trailer:



The film, as I'm sure you've just seen, is called Colin and it's a zombie film shown from the perspective of one of the shambling undead. An interesting concept. It looks remarkably impressive too, considering that the budget was only £45! Hopefully I'll be able to find somewhere to see this. You should try too. More info on the film at the production company's website HERE.

Book Worms

A slice of retro cool for you. There has been a spate of similar projects around the web recently, making mock-up covers for films-if-they-were-books and to a lesser extent games-if-they-were-books. I feel like I'm not explaining this very well. Perhaps a visual aid is in order. Here are a couple of my favourites from the 'movie' series:





and one from the games:



Pretty cool, huh?
View the complete sets here:
Films.
Games.

Fill Your Boots.

Hey hey hey. As I am off to Latitude festival tomorrow (WOOOOOOOOOO! Ahem), you will have to make do without my links that shine like a beacon of hope in your grey lives. Sorry about that. BUT I am willing to cut you a deal. I'll chuck a few extras into this one post and you have to pace yourselves, mmkay? Mmkay.

First, some culture. How many times have you found yourself in an art gallery, looking at the pretty pictures and thinking "Hmm, as much as I can appreciate MC Escher's 'Self Portrait in Reflective Ball', I would like it a whole lot more if there was a duck in there". Well, you are most definitely in luck.



These and other masterpieces are defaced improved in yonder Flickr Pool.

Next! A game, a game of balance and quick wits. A game of blowing up stuff with bombs in order to bring a golden statue thingy safely down to earth. It's called Totem Destroyer and it will eat up your free time.

Lastly, I'm going to twist the geek humour dial up a few notches. Yes, it goes up further, thank you very much. You cheeky sods. Hmmph.
Anyway, it is a totally for reals and definitely not fake film pitch sent my Michael Bay (Boo!) to Warner Bros. (Meh) to show them his vision for the upcoming Batman sequel The Dark Knight (Yay!)

Anyway, the result is... well, see for your dang selves:



Genius, click Here for the rest.

That's your lot. I'll be back Tuesday for more interfun and hyperfrolics. Bye!