Hot Chicks.

I am not best pleased. My computer is busted, meaning that I can only get online at work. So these updates may be few and far between. I'm sure you'll cope. Situations like this call for a sure-fire antidepressant. This is a doozy, sure to make even the manliest of men giggle like a small girl.



*Giggles*

Hooked.

Just found a charming little timewaster. It's a pixel-art game called Gravity Hook. The aim is to climb as high as you can up the screen by attaching your little character's grappling hook to a series of floating mines and using the momentum to fling yourself ever higher. careful though as attaching to a mine will arm it, and if you get too close... BOOM! It has a real one-more-go factor and the desire to better your previous high score is powerful. Mine currently stands at 730m. Can you do better?

The End Is Nigh.

It seems that the world is going to end tomorrow. Huh. Reckon I'd get away with not turning up for work?
If you don't know what I'm talking about, shame on you. It's been in the news a lot. See? (incidentally, here is another take on the story: "Millions of tiny black holes will be produced. It is quite plausible that these little black holes will survive and will grow and eat the planet from the inside out." - The Sun. Oh, and as for the *spit* Daily Mail, they seem to have Missed The Point.)

But anyway, this got me thinking. "I wonder how many ways our world could conceivably end. If only someone would do a top ten."

Well, Imagine My Surprise.

Re-animated

Fooled you, I'm not dead after all. Ho ho.
I have a link to prove it. Today's offering is a short animation about octopuses. It's very go... Eh, what's that? Are you smirking at me because I used the word octopuses instead of octopi? Well well, we have a smart-arse in our midst, hmm? Very clever. Bet you'll be telling everyone how you got one over on big, stupid Paul. *Clap... Clap... Clap.* Pity then, isn't it, that you're wrong? Since the use of 'octopi' derives from the mistaken assumption that octopus is a second declension Latin noun, which it is not. So if you could just put on this dunce cap and sit on that stool in the corner, I'll carry on telling the others about the animation I have found.
Ahem, it's very good.

This is an Automated Message.

Beep.
This is a posthumous message from Paul Nelson. He spontaneously combusted earlier today but recorded this message to be delivered to his blog in the event of his untimely demise.
Beep.

"Hey guys, I just found something magical. Anyone who has read this blog before or even just listened to me talk for a while will know 2 things for certain. I like zombies and I like Charlie Brooker. So, the news that the latter is scripting a tv series about the former made me squeal with delight. I'm about to watch the trailer and thought it best to write this now in case something untoward happens. If you want to see for yourself, the website is Here. It's going to be called 'Dead Set' and I'd bet money on it being fantastic. Just click the eye to see the trailer."

Beep.

I'm the Boom King.

Hello class. Since it is Monday, it's time for your Games lesson. Today we're playing BoomBot, so grab yourself a supply of bombs and try and blow yourself towards the magic doorway using as few as possible. Simple.

Balls.

Those big exercise balls, to be precise. They baffle me. They mainly seem to be for making people look silly when they try and balance themselves while sprawled across one in the gym. But wait! It turns out they DO have a purpose.Check it out:



See?

Charity begins at Homepage.

You're looking great today. Have you lost weight? That haircut really suits you. Y'know what? Of all the *cough* thousands of people that read this blog, you're my very favourite. C'mere, give me a hug.

So yeah, I'm after something. Sorry to be transparent but there we go. Fact is, I'm doing the Great South Run in October to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support and I would really appreciate it if you'd sponsor me.

I set up a JustGiving page Here and you can sponsor me directly through that. I'll be honest, it's a bit more hassle than just having your name written down on a piece of paper and flinging some change my way when I've done the run, but if you use the JustGiving site, the charity will get an additional 25% on top of your cash in GiftAid. Not to be sniffed at.

Anyway, I hope you do choose to support me as Macmillan is a charity that is close to my heart. My dad recently had a brush with cancer and the support Macmillan offered was of great comfort to him and to the rest of the family.

Thanks.

Cube 3: Papercube.

Hello there. I have decided that you're wasting entirely too much time watching videos and playing games. It's about time you had something creative to do. Something that will get you away from your computer for a while. Something that lets you play with sharp implements. In short, something like Cubeecraft.



Pretty cool, eh? They have loads of different characters from films, tv, comics, games, etc in boxy form, click on the ones you like and it'll give you a print out that you can cut out and use to make the model! I practiced with a Mario coin block but I think I'm going to try something tougher next time. Anyways, they look great and give you the glow of satisfaction that you made something yourself. Hooray!
(Oh, as a side note, some of these characters are pretty obscure. If you recognise more than two thirds of them, you're probably a bit on the geeky side. Congrats!)

Get a Room.

Put on your Game Hat, I have a ripe one here.
It's called Rooms and it's all a bit clever. You're a guy, right (groundbreaking, I know) and you have to move through a series of boxy rooms floating in a void, to reach the exit. To start with, the rooms are in order, but after a while you're going to start having to shift them into position. This game is a clear case of substance over style. The animation is a bit clunky and the loading time is massive. (Seriously, go and make a cup of tea.) But once you're in, you'll soon discover it was worth it. Some of the controls aren't immediately obvious so I recommend using the How To Play section. Anyway, give it a go. It has some genius little touches. Rooms.

Thunderbolts & Lightning. Very Very Frightening.

Storms are cool, there's no denying that. Even though I recently spent a lot of time in a flimsy tent in pouring rain and howling winds, Storms and I are still buds.

Lightning is particularly impressive. Too bad it is over so quickly though, right? You see a flash of light and then it is gone, and you're left counting 1 elephant, 2 elephant, 3 elephant until you hear the crack of thunder.

Wouldn't it be ace if it happened in slow motion? Then you'd be able to revel in it's majesty. If only someone would film a bolt of lightning with a fancy-dan camera that slowed it right down, then stick that film on the internet. Oh cruel fate, why do you mock me?

KRA-KOW!



Sweet. I love how you can see it extending in different directions, trying to make contact with the ground. Hooray for people with magic cameras, hooray for the internet, hooray for me!

Word, yo.

Hello, I'm back from my holiday and I congratulate you for managing to stay on the edge of your seat waiting for my next post. Patience, true believer.

Anyways, as a reward. You get... A list! Hooray! However, if you're anything like me, at least it'll make you laugh. It's titled 'Can I Get A Widnes' and it is a celebration of crappy UK town names used in the titles of songs. For example:

Boogie Sunderland,
Bat Out Of Hull,
I'm Too Bexley For My Shirt,
Cheshire, I Can Boogie,
etc.

Comedy gold. The full list is HERE and if you like that be sure to check out These Other Great Ones

I love the smell of Paint in the morning.

This totally rocks. It's a Paintball sentry gun. It detects movement and then shoots whatever it is that moved. I... I don't know what else to say. I usually love to waffle on in these entries but frankly, to say anything else would be to dilute the grandeur.



Oh, and while we're on the subject of sentry guns, have this (albeit pretty old) video of what the turrets from the game 'Portal' get up to when no-one is watching (this won't make a great deal of sense if you haven't played the game and/or are not monstrously geeky. Fairly warned be ye).
I See You.

Braaaaaiiiiinss.

Dating sites, I don't know how you feel about them but you at least we can agree... They cater for Everyone!

Coo-el.

Hola!
¿Cómo estás? ¿Dónde está el baño?

Ahem, sorry about that. I have been watching some Spanish animations (Spanimations?) and I got carried away.
So, would you like to see said animations? Hah! As if you have any say in this.
They are called Las Aventuras de Mr. Coo and have been around for ages. In fact, the first one was showed to me by a certain Phil Johnstone esq. way back in the days of the Havant College forum we used to frequent. So why dredge them up now? Well, because since that first 'toon, there have been 2 sequels and now... a game! So have a squiz.

Oh, by the way... they get progressively weirder. Just a heads-up.
Mr. Coo #1&2
Mr. Coo #3
Mr. Coo #4

Mr. Coo, the game!